Year in Review 2013-2014
I never would have thought I’d be recapping my year in the month of April, but here we go. This year was a crazy year of great ups and downs and sideways struggles, but a week away from summer break; I’m able to say I came out on top. This year started with a kid who was terrified of coming to a new school so far away from home, and that same kid had to find a way to break out and make a name for herself. In the course of one year, I was accepted into the University Honors Program, I was a member of the hall opening team, community commissions, and an executive member of Daniels Hall Association. Additionally, I was on the deans list, I became a mentor to a 4th grader at Evanston Academy, I came out to my brother, I went heli-skiing in the San Juan mountains, and I walked out of club volleyball tryouts – absolutely terrified. This year, my grandfather got sick, and one of my friends from Pratt passed away. Finally, I made one of the hardest transitions from a small private school in Englewood, Colorado to a huge university in Cincinnati, Ohio, and I have to say, I think I crushed it. This was the year of triumph, the year of struggle, and the year of healing. This was the year I became Biscuit.
This leads perfectly into my first most significant event of the year; becoming Biscuit. Every time I introduce myself as Biscuit, I repeat the same story about how it came about – Carolyn was too hard to remember. So what did they come up with in response? C-Biscuit. Not to be confused with Seabiscuit. Although, it was frequently confused with that famous horse, so we dropped the “C”. Biscuit became a cute little nickname, and at the time I had no idea why I kept it. At home, I’m known to everyone as Carolyn, but once I’m on campus, I hear people yelling for me all over campus “Hey Biscuit!” “Bisc! What’s up?”. Nicknames for the nickname became pretty popular as well: Bisc, Biscotti, Bisquick, Bisquickie. The thing it took me so long to realize was that I kept Biscuit for a much deeper reason. I view myself as a very androgynous person. And up until recently, no one knew that I identify as genderqueer. The reason why I like Biscuit is because it holds no gender assignment. I don’t really like to use the gender neutral pronouns, but on the gender spectrum, I see myself somewhere just right of center. I’ve always liked my given name and I respond to female pronouns. I respect the name my parents have chosen for me, and I’ll respond to both names, but Biscuit has felt more fitting for at least the past year. The best part of all of this is that the kid who gave me the name probably has no idea how much it ended up meaning to me.
My second event is also the most recent. As of last week I was offered a position as a residential advisor for the 2014-2015 year, and a student orientation leader on campus over the summer. I’ve wanted to be an RA since 2011 when I spent a month living in Baltimore on MICA’s campus. I’ve wanted to be a SOL since orientation in June this past year. Finally getting the opportunity to be both of these things has proven to me that I can do anything I set my mind to. It was a four-month process for each with long classes and intense interviews. I also know that I wouldn’t have gotten to this place without pushing myself in the beginning of first semester to set myself apart as a leader on campus. When I first started attending my high school, my father gave me some of the greatest advice (like he always does): take advantage of every opportunity you can. And to an extent, I did. I tried a lot of different clubs and got involved with a couple organizations, but it wasn’t until my first year here at UC that I really felt like I could get in a groove of doing things I love. Hall government, community engagement, and mentoring became big parts of my life, and now I’ll be able to add SOL and RA onto that list.
For my third significant event, I’ll speak more to the healing process of this year. Right before finals first semester, I heard some of the most gut-wrenching news I’ve heard in a long time: one of my friends had passed away. I had never experienced a death of a friend or family member before, and being so far away from my friends made this incredibly difficult. No one is supposed to die at eighteen. I know that I’m stronger from the experience and I am grateful to have had the chance to know him. Experiencing this loss taught me how to cope and struggle and deal with difficult news on my own. I won’t always have a support system around me to fall back on, and when moments like this happen, I need to be able to pull myself up.
Each of these events has taught me to grow and learn from the things we have little to no control over. Instead of trying to conform and change my identity, I’m finally able to accept it and work with it. There was a good three weeks when I was convinced I wouldn’t be getting the SOL position, and when I got the email saying I would be in the eligibility pool for RA, I was crushed. But things work out the way they do for a reason. All we can do is move forward and let the universe take over, and sometimes things will work out exactly how you want them to.
I think all of these experiences will help me as an RA and a SOL, which will in turn make me a better student and hopefully more successful when I’m co-oping. I plan on turning both of these into honors learning experiences. As for advice, I need to learn that not all 24 hours in the day need to be scheduled. Sleep is actually healthy and shouldn’t be forgotten. This year will help me understand what it takes to be a healthy and successful student at UC and in DAAP.
This leads perfectly into my first most significant event of the year; becoming Biscuit. Every time I introduce myself as Biscuit, I repeat the same story about how it came about – Carolyn was too hard to remember. So what did they come up with in response? C-Biscuit. Not to be confused with Seabiscuit. Although, it was frequently confused with that famous horse, so we dropped the “C”. Biscuit became a cute little nickname, and at the time I had no idea why I kept it. At home, I’m known to everyone as Carolyn, but once I’m on campus, I hear people yelling for me all over campus “Hey Biscuit!” “Bisc! What’s up?”. Nicknames for the nickname became pretty popular as well: Bisc, Biscotti, Bisquick, Bisquickie. The thing it took me so long to realize was that I kept Biscuit for a much deeper reason. I view myself as a very androgynous person. And up until recently, no one knew that I identify as genderqueer. The reason why I like Biscuit is because it holds no gender assignment. I don’t really like to use the gender neutral pronouns, but on the gender spectrum, I see myself somewhere just right of center. I’ve always liked my given name and I respond to female pronouns. I respect the name my parents have chosen for me, and I’ll respond to both names, but Biscuit has felt more fitting for at least the past year. The best part of all of this is that the kid who gave me the name probably has no idea how much it ended up meaning to me.
My second event is also the most recent. As of last week I was offered a position as a residential advisor for the 2014-2015 year, and a student orientation leader on campus over the summer. I’ve wanted to be an RA since 2011 when I spent a month living in Baltimore on MICA’s campus. I’ve wanted to be a SOL since orientation in June this past year. Finally getting the opportunity to be both of these things has proven to me that I can do anything I set my mind to. It was a four-month process for each with long classes and intense interviews. I also know that I wouldn’t have gotten to this place without pushing myself in the beginning of first semester to set myself apart as a leader on campus. When I first started attending my high school, my father gave me some of the greatest advice (like he always does): take advantage of every opportunity you can. And to an extent, I did. I tried a lot of different clubs and got involved with a couple organizations, but it wasn’t until my first year here at UC that I really felt like I could get in a groove of doing things I love. Hall government, community engagement, and mentoring became big parts of my life, and now I’ll be able to add SOL and RA onto that list.
For my third significant event, I’ll speak more to the healing process of this year. Right before finals first semester, I heard some of the most gut-wrenching news I’ve heard in a long time: one of my friends had passed away. I had never experienced a death of a friend or family member before, and being so far away from my friends made this incredibly difficult. No one is supposed to die at eighteen. I know that I’m stronger from the experience and I am grateful to have had the chance to know him. Experiencing this loss taught me how to cope and struggle and deal with difficult news on my own. I won’t always have a support system around me to fall back on, and when moments like this happen, I need to be able to pull myself up.
Each of these events has taught me to grow and learn from the things we have little to no control over. Instead of trying to conform and change my identity, I’m finally able to accept it and work with it. There was a good three weeks when I was convinced I wouldn’t be getting the SOL position, and when I got the email saying I would be in the eligibility pool for RA, I was crushed. But things work out the way they do for a reason. All we can do is move forward and let the universe take over, and sometimes things will work out exactly how you want them to.
I think all of these experiences will help me as an RA and a SOL, which will in turn make me a better student and hopefully more successful when I’m co-oping. I plan on turning both of these into honors learning experiences. As for advice, I need to learn that not all 24 hours in the day need to be scheduled. Sleep is actually healthy and shouldn’t be forgotten. This year will help me understand what it takes to be a healthy and successful student at UC and in DAAP.
Year In Review 2013-14 |